“Lukas, after a heated discussion, we came to the conclusion that we’d rather give an opportunity to some new faces and will keep you as a backup.”

An email I received from one of Prague’s new Area Directors related to the Club Officer Training scheduled for August.

Prague does not need me.

I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t mind. I don’t quite succeed.

The event agenda is attached to the email. I open it. Just out of curiosity. I see the program items and the timings. “Come on, this won’t work!”, I say to myself. “They want to cover too many topics and they won’t be able to cover any of them in depth. And just 15 minutes for a panel discussion? Come on!”

I start composing my reply. After 20 minutes, it grows into a sizeable essay packed with links, suggestions and wisdom of an experienced Toastmaster (that would be me). While composing the final paragraph, I hear from the other room: “Going for a swim?”

Absorbed in responding to the email, I almost forgot that I’m in a house on the Spanish coast with the sea just across the road. Okay. I guess the sender can wait for my wisdom for a little while longer. I close my laptop and go get a towel.

My friend Cezar says that we go to bed in the evening as one person and we wake up in the morning as another.

A short swim can work in the same way I guess. Cooling salty water, diving under the waves and then warming up again under the late afternoon sun makes me feel like brand new too.

I sit back in the chair, open the email and re-read what I wrote less than an hour ago. Suddenly, I have no clue what the point of my lecture-essay is. Re-evaluating the situation gives me a new train of thought: “Okay Lukas, there’s a training that has to be organized in Prague in an organization you are supporting. The message you just received says there are enough people to plan it, organize it and run it. No effort from your side is needed. What the heck is there to be upset about?”

True – it’s going to be a different training than I would give. But me complaining about? That’s an old man’s lament.

I delete the essay, confirm that it’s a good idea to give a chance to new faces and end with: “I know that you’re going to make the training amazing.” I know they are.

My Google Calendar tells me I’m giving a training or a workshop almost every week during the summer holidays.

Prague does not need me.

Having put my ego on mute – I know that’s a good thing.

Photo by Daniel Llorente on Unsplash